End-of-Life Conversations Aren’t Morbid — They’re a Gift
- Shiella
- Jan 2
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 26
Many people think talking about end-of-life care invites fear, sadness, or even bad luck. So we avoid it. We tell ourselves, We’ll talk about it later.
But later often comes too fast.
When my father was first diagnosed, we talked about treatment, appointments, and logistics. What we didn’t talk about — at least not right away — was what mattered most to him as a human being:
What kind of care felt meaningful
What “quality of life” truly meant
How he wanted his medical team to approach comfort vs. intervention
What he feared, hoped for, and valued
By the time we had those conversations, I wished we had started sooner.
Why These Conversations Matter
End-of-life conversations aren’t about giving up. They’re about:
Preserving dignity
Reducing family conflict
Preventing unnecessary suffering
Protecting your values
Giving your loved ones clarity during chaos
It is one of the most loving gifts you can give the people who will stand by you.
The Lesson My Father Taught Me
My father, a deeply respected physician, knew that medicine could extend life — but not always improve it. He taught me that a full life is measured not just in years, but in meaning.
His illness sharpened everything:
What mattered
What didn’t
What love required
What courage looked like
That clarity shaped the heart of the Healthcare Parachute book.
How to Start the Conversation (Gently)
Start with values, not medical scenarios.
“What does a good day look like for you?”
Talk about fears and hopes.
“What scares you most about being sick?”
Ask about the people they trust.
“Who would you want making decisions if you couldn’t?”
Use real examples from life.
“Remember when ___ got sick — what would you want to happen differently?”
The Goal Isn’t Predicting the Future — It’s Protecting It
These conversations won’t remove the grief. But they remove the guesswork.
And in crisis, that’s everything.
It’s why I call this book a parachute.
You hope you never need it.
But if the moment ever comes, you will be grateful you packed it.
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